Thursday, April 3, 2025
On A Friday Afternoon
Wednesday, April 2, 2025
Hey Presto
I'm sure I've said this before and I'm equally sure that every one of you out there are incredulous at the prospect. I'll go so far as to say that you probably don't believe it. Hell, I don't blame you. With my track record I don't believe I believe it myself. But it's true: I can be taught. And self taught no less.
In trying to get my writing career, such as it is, off the ground, I've resurrected a manuscript which I hadn't touched in about 15 years. When I decided to work on it I first had to find it. You know how computers are: everything's right there on your monitor or on your hard drive. If, and this is a big if, you remember how and where and under what title and form you saved it. That's when we discover HOW COMPUTERS ARE. They are literal. Very, precisely literal. Maddeningly, frightfully, disgustingly literal. A capital letter which should be small and, hey presto, your friendly Dell has no idea what the hell you're talking about.
Still, I managed to find the document. And it was blank, blanker than a Democrat's mind (insert Republican if it makes you feel better and I'm very sorry I offended you please don't cancel me) even though the word count function insisted there were more than 62,000 of them. What to do, what to do.
I selected 'copy' for the entire document, copied it, opened a new text document window and, hey presto, it appears, visible words and all, in the new window. Only rather than quote marks at the start and ending of someone speaking there were vertical lines. Again, who to do etc.
I select copy all again, copied the entire document again, pasted into an open text window of a different writing program and, wait for it... wait for it...hey presto! The entire manuscript was there, and with quote marks around spoken words and phrases.
So I can be taught. Inspiration, where do you come from? And now I get to begin submitting what will hopefully soon be another book, one of them novels we hear so much about. Hey presto, it could happen.
Tuesday, April 1, 2025
Happy Day
Uh, Happy New Year!
No, that's not right. Merry Christmas?
Happy Independence Day! Hmm; not that either.
Arbor Day! Yes, Arbor Day. Have a great Arbor Day. Go plant a tree.
Oh. Not Arbor Day. Thanksgiving? Don't eat too much Turkey!
Opening Day for baseball? No; off by about a week.
Not that? Then, then storm the Bastille! Remember the Maine and the Alamo! Fly the old Stars and Stripes for Flag Day! Remember your grandparents this Grandparents Day. Or Mom, yeah, Mom on Mother's Day! Treat her right!
Still not it? But I just know something's in the air today. Yet what?
Monday, March 31, 2025
Nerk
This isn't my first experience with pronunciation not matching spelling. Rutherford, North Carolina, near where a lot of my southern family live, often comes out as, roughly, Rofton or Rullaferd. George Kell, the former Detroit sportscaster who hailed from Arkansas, used to end Missouri with an A: Missoura.
I don't mean this as a criticism. We all have accents and that's just how things are. I remember about 30 years ago talking to a local in Toronto, Ontario, Canada who after a few minutes of conversation asked, "So you're from Detroit?" even though I hadn't told him. "How can you tell?" I asked in turn.
"By your accent."
I actually replied, with no ill intent and as though it were a perfectly reasonable answer, "I don't have an accent."
Of course I do. We all do. We just don't often think of it that way.
Sunday, March 30, 2025
To Forgive, and to Seek Forgiveness
Saturday, March 29, 2025
Like A Kid Again
I've always liked my meals simple. Throw a couple of slices of bologna between a couple other slices of wheat bread and slather on some Duke's mayo and I'm set for lunch. For dinner, I'm content to toss microwaveable food on microwaveable plates and bowls and have at it in no time. Even breakfast can be very simple. Set the kettle on and boil water for instant oatmeal and I can be eating in minutes.
Yet I've discovered another easy breakfast, one designed especially for you chocolate lovers out there. Just get your favorite chocolate cereal, even the one featuring that annoying bird (all right, all right, you're cuckoo for them. We get it. Now shut up), fill a bowl, but only put about half the milk in. Your reward is chocolate milk almost as thick a Hershey bar when you're done. All that glorious chocolate just sinks right down into the milk.
Chocolate overload. It's not just for breakfast anymore. But it tastes best then.
Friday, March 28, 2025
Baseball is Back!
Man, it's good to watch baseball again. Even though my Detroit Tigers lost 5-4 in the opener last night, it's still a great feeling. I'm not even worried that they were 0 for 15 with runners in scoring position. The Detroits made it close. Yes, they might have won with as few as two hits with runners anxious to cross home plate. They did have two runners on with one out in the top of the Ninth who they couldn't move against a closer clearly struggling. But no need to panic. It's early.
How about that Spencer Torkelson? A home run in his only official at bat, but four walks in four other plate appearances. That makes his batting average 1.000 on the season, and his on base percentage 1.000 as well. That's a pace to hit one thousand on the year. I'm guessing that won't happen, though.
I think I'll just bask in the glow of the National Pastime this morning. Baseball for seven months; life is good. I won't worry about a thing.
It would be easier not to worry without going zero for fifteen with runners in scoring position. But I'm not panicking. No, I'm not.
Okay, maybe just a little. Yet it's early. It's early. Lot of baseball to be played yet. I'm staying calm.
Oh, but geez, we win with just a couple hits in those situations...