9/23

Well, well, well. It's early Wednesday morning and I have a blog to write. With no other ideas coming to mind, I'll fall back onto This Day in History.

On September 23, 1779 during the American Revolution ('The Troubles' to you Brits) John Paul Jones uttered his famous "I have not yet begun to fight!" in answer to an English demand that he surrender his ship during a naval engagement. 

For you astronomers, on September 23, 1846, the planet Neptune was first spotted.

Mickey Rooney, Julio Iglesias, Ray Charles, and Bruce Springsteen were all born the 23rd.

St. Pio of Pietrelcina, better as Padre Pio, died September 23, 1968. He had the stigmata, the wounds of Christ, on his body. 

Lewis and Clark returned to St. Louis from their exploration of the Louisiana Territory September 23, 1806.

Merkle's Boner, a famous baseball mistake, gave the Chicago Cubs the National League Pennant on this day in 1908. It's one of the most famous plays (or non plays) in the sport's history.

There you have it, friends. September 23 in history!

Gone Bananas

I was lucky enough to see Bananaball in Detroit last weekend. It's baseball played seriously but with added, I'll say, athleticism and sideshow. 

There was a lot going on. I found it difficult to watch the actual baseball game because there was almost always something happening in foul territory or in the stands. I'm going to be the old guy and say there were too many distractions. Arguably, it was too much of a good thing. But it was still fun.

They set a two hour limit on the game (though they do their best to play the traditional nine innings), play music all the time (a good mix of old and new), and bench players weave through the crowd for goodwill. In order to keep pace there are no mound visits, batters must stay in the batter's box, and I won't even try to explain all the other rules. Still, one more: if a spectator catches a foul ball it counts as an out. Cute, but I would not like it as a player.

It was pretty obvious there weren't major league players on the field. Though the competition was decent, it was clearly less than even in the low minor leagues. A-ball games show better true baseball.

Pitches were noticeably slow. At least three throws by my count bounced twice between the third baseman and first on routine grounders, and fly balls hit to the outfield tended towards shallow, although there was one home run and another fly to the warning track. The play in itself did not impress.

Still, for a style intended to engage the audience it was worthwhile. On that level, Bananaball certainly works. I'd go again.

Emergency Not?

Last Tuesday I took a call from a plumber, I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name, who said he needed 4 drain snake cables. "Believe it or not, Cosgriff, my own sewer's plugged, ha, ha!"

"It can happen to any of us, eh, Cloyce? Well, I got plenty, come on by."

"Okay. You gonna be in Friday?"

"Well, yes."

"Great. See you then, Cosgriff." You do you, Cloyce, but when my sewer has backed up, ASAP isn't quick enough to get it open. But, fine, if that suits you.

Friday morning he called back. "Can I get those cables at 4, Cosgriff?"

"Absolutely."

"Cool. See you then"

Cloyce calls at three. "I ain't gonna make it. Can we meet next week?"

"It would have to be Tuesday. I'm not available Monday." 

"Tuesday's good, Cosgriff." 

We'll see if he shows. I'm surprised Mrs. Cloyce isn't on his case. Either way, I don't get it. When there's nasty sewer water on my basement floor, it's gotta go, right now kapow. But, you do you, Cloyce.

Ram Parts

One of the many neat tools you can buy from Electric Eel is a little cylindrical unit called a Kinetic Water Ram. It has a pump with which you can build up air pressure, and a trigger whereby you release it. You stick it over a drain opening, build up the pressure, and wham! A burst of air opens the line. Neat, huh?

But like anything else it requires service from time to time. After a lot of use the washers inside the unit wear so that it won't hold pressure, for example. There's a repair kit available for when this happens.

One day a customer called and explained his trouble and I said he needed that kit. He asked if I'd order it and call him when it arrived. Fair enough; we do that regularly. I told him sure.

When the Ram repair kit came a day or two later I called the guy to let him know it was in. Thanks, he said, but he was by then in the middle of a large plumbing job and couldn't get to my Shop for a couple days. No problem, I replied, we'd hold it for him.

As I hung up the phone I sat and I looked at the kit. O'er the Ram parts we watch, I thought.

Not bad. Not bad at all. To me.

Ready, Set, No.

The 8 foot long drain cleaning cables I sell come in barrels of 20. At just about a pound a foot, that's 160 pounds each. At 66, I appreciate help lifting them into the new old van. Indeed, it's almost a necessity, though I can manage it if I must.

Wednesday last I went to Electric Eel (Electric Eel: for all your drain cleaning needs) and was happy to have me brother Phil along. But I did learn that when you ask a question, it's really important to wait for the answer.

I rolled a barrel up to the side door of the van and leaned it backwards for us to lift. As we each bent down opposite one another and began to take hold of the barrel I asked, "Ready?" and immediately started to lift.

"No," Phil replied. Consequently, I nearly heaved myself into a hernia. Fortunately, my hands just slipped off the barrel, and I was able to regain my balance with one backward step.

Have a question for someone? Wait. For. The. Reply. Your back will appreciate it.

No to the New Narnia

They can't leave anything alone, can they? Hollywood won't respect established source material, and I am sick of it.

The latest travesty comes from a reboot of the famed and well-loved Narnia children's books written by C. S. Lewis. Aslan, a male lion and obvious Christ figure, is the penultimate character in the stories, the true guiding light. The fifth title in the series, and my second favorite (after The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, which begins the Narnia tales), The Magician's Nephew, was lined up for being put on film. I was genuinely excited.

And then they cast Meryl Steep to voice Aslan. After promising to be true to the original books too.

You want to know why I don't care, liberal, progressive friends, about President Trump seeking to rename lakes and mountains? You have no respect yourselves for what has been well established for years, but you have the gall to be righteously indignant over Lake America or the Gulf of America? It dirties your mantle.

A female actor, even a well-known and respected one, voicing a male Christ figure. A character created by a serious, traditional Christian who surely would object. Damn your characters and intentions, Lewis. We know better how to express your meaning. That's Hollywood's modus operandi.

Well, express away. You won't do it on my dime, a dime you certainly would have gotten had you played it right. The bulk of Lewis readers and Narnia fans won't pony up either, I'm sure. Of course, you'll only argue Narnia wasn't really marketable, or that fans like me are somehow sexist or palpably self righteous ourselves. Har-umph. You might try an iota of introspection. Just one little bit.

Instead, no respect for fans or original sources. You're better than them and that, aren't you? 

Old Oil

The things me Grandpa Joe used to have us do at the old barn make me shake my head these days. At the time I didn't think much about it, but looking back, I often wonder why.

The gasoline powered welding machines he had had long side panels which folded upwards to allow access to the engine and welding unit. These panels (which were as I recall where about four foot in length) had what amounted to long hinges. That they required occasional greasing I get. Joe did that with old oil.

We changed the oil in our own cars back then, and the engines on the welders needed changing too of course. Joe would save all the old oil and have teens like me at the time paint the gray, sticky goo across and into the hinges.

Suffice it to say, it left you smelling like oil. It got oil all over everything: your clothes, the entirety of the machine, and a lot on the cement. For days afterwards you would get a light spray of oil when opening a panel on the machine. It was simply one big, slick, greasy mess.

I understand his reasoning. He felt the oil penetrated well, that it worked itself more into the joints. But thinking back on it, I have to believe there were actual penetrating oils which might have been less hassle: WD-40 or something. But back then I was only a 14 year old doing as he was told. Thinking wasn't in my job description. Joe did that for me...for whatever that's worth.