President Obama's change of heart

WASHINGTON, April 1, 2010: In a stunning and dramatic move, President Barack Obama has switched political parties. White House officials, speaking anonymously, have said that a formal announcement will be made at a press conference in the East Room at noon today.

The President, it is reported, was so impressed by Republican unanimity in the recent health car fight that, in comparison with all the deals and cajoling necessary to bring enough Democrats on board to push the reform through, it became obvious to him that the GOP was the true party of the American electorate. He will meet with Republican minority leaders Mitch McConnell and John Boehner immediately after the noon press conference to discuss how they might dismantle the recent health care package.

Rep. Nancy Pelosi was the first the praise the President for his 'daring and insightful foresight' and added that she too would do all she could in support of Mr. Obama's change of party. Senator Harry Reid followed quickly on her heels with a pledge of support of his own, calling the President 'a true visionary'.

Representative Bart Stupak's office released a statement saying that the Michigan Congressman was 'deeply hurt and offended' by the move, but would withhold further comment until he hears what particulars there are within the anticipated newer health care reform now apparently in the works.

The President's decision throws the entire 2012 election cycle into turmoil. Now considered the GOP front runner for the nomination, it is expected that the many Republican hopefuls will alter their plans. It is reported that Sarah Palin will take the helm of a crab fishing boat, possibly the Cornelia Marie, for next season's edition of the Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch. The has been no word yet from the other anticipated Republican challengers, though it was noticed by an onlooker that Mitt Romney looked 'pensive' over breakfast.

Democrats, meanwhile, lament that they have no obvious candidate of their own except perhaps Joe Biden. In a move seen as distancing him from the President, insiders from his camp have said only that he would be 'the obvious (expletive) choice'.