Having My Dance Card Filled

I began seeing a doctor regularly in 2016 after around a twenty-year delinquency. My pulse was low from my very first appointment in the years since, generally 48 or 49, while 60-100 is considered okay. Yet other than an initial EKG, my physician decided that 48 was simply my normal. We'd watch it and that was that. He said at the time that if it dropped to 40 or below further testing would be necessary.

Good old Marty turned 65 his last birthday. At my October checkup, just a routine checkup, mind you, nothing to see here folks just move along, my doctor said he thought I should see a cardiologist about the still low pulse. "It's been that way before!" I protested.

"You weren't 65 before," he answered. I didn't want to do it, but paranoia once your doc suggests an idea, any medical idea, makes a guy grumble but accept fate. I arranged to see the heart doctor January 9, last Friday. Everything will be all right, right? I'll be out in an hour and living the Life of Riley again.

An EKG was required as soon as I arrived. But that's okay. It even makes sense when you visit a cardiologist the first time, right? So I have the EKG, am shuttled to an examination room, and wait. 

Within a few minutes the doctor comes in. "Your EKG was outstanding, Mr. Cosgriff. Based on it I'd say you're as healthy as a horse."

Great! I can go now, methinks. "But I'd like you to have a sonogram," he continued. "We can do it right now and save you a trip back."

But, but, my EKG! Horse healthy! Yet also paranoia about not doing what my cardiologist thinks a good idea. And a return visit saved. I agree to the sonogram.

Other than a vaguely larger than average aorta ("We'll note it, but not a worry, Mr. Cosgriff") the sonogram was spectacular. I can go now? "There is this thing about your red blood count slightly higher than normal, Mr. Cosgriff. Do you sleep well? Do you snore?" I think you may have undiagnosed sleep apnea; that can drive up you red count."

What does that mean? It means three more referrals for this, that, and the other thing. It means wearing a heart monitor for two weeks, even though the EKG and sonogram tests were passed with flying colors, because it doesn't hurt to get a longer term look at the old ticker just the same. It means seeing an ENT,  an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist, because if it's sleep apnea what ails ya it may be due to a sinus defect. It means, ugh, a night at a sleep clinic, with electrodes attached all over my aging Dad bod in order to see if the trouble actually is sleep apnea while I try to somehow get a decent night's sleep with electrodes all over my head, neck, and torso. It means a breathing test to make sure my lung capacity is up to snuff, even though my lungs sounded completely clear when the cardiologist and his pulmomary specialist checked during the January 9 appointment.

All of that from a low pulse which had been low for a decade. 

Is this my life now? Will the rest of my days be filled seeing Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, and Dr. Howard whenever any irregular number is present on my checkups? Does senior citizen status mean that any new friends I meet will have MD after their name? 

Better safe than sorry, I suppose. But still, really? All this? Har-rumph.