On the Detroit Lions.

I am not a big Detroit Lions football fan; the team never really caught my imagination like the hometown Tigers and Red Wings have with their respective sports. It isn't that I don't want them to win. It's simply that they never do, in any significant sense.

One playoff win since 1957. Their last NFL Championship (they've never had the barest whiff of a Super Bowl) was in 1957. My parents were married in 1957; maybe we can blame them. But hey, they've at least led productive lives since then.

What have the Lions done? The one lone win in the playoffs, in 1991, has to be treated as an aberration. Generally, when they do make the playoffs (as they did with some consistency in the 90's) its only to get blown out in the one game they eek into. Or lose even more embarrasingly: they lost to the Dallas Cowboys 5-0 in a 1970 appearance. 5-nil; I think that's when I assumed they were a lost cause. At 10 years old I abandoned all hope of the Lions ever actually producing. How can a professional football team not win when they only give up 5 stinking points?

The thing is, I've always respected their kickers. Eddie Murray hung around a long time as a premier kicker; Jason Hanson has been here 17 years as a true pro. How can you find kicking talent and not talented players at other positions? And why do the Hansons stay with the team? Probably so their holiday plans don't get fouled up.

So the team is 0-11 going into their annual Thanksgiving turkey...classic! They play Tennessee, who only just lost their first game. What that means is they likely want to hammer on the Motor City Kitties for vengeance.

Don't bother, Titans. It would not impress, and you would only appear mean.