Mowing the Lawn

I do not like cutting the grass. It simply is a chore for me, even though I can mow my lawn in about 45 minutes. Still, there are things about it which I like.

The cold beer afterwards is always nice. I look upon it as a reward for completing the task. It is probably the only reason I ever even get the job done. And I must admit I always have liked the look of a freshly cut lawn. There's something about the nice flat green ground which appeals to me. You can't beat the smell of newly mown grass, either.

There are actually times, too, when I do in fact seek the task with a certain right wing relish. Ozone action days are my personal favorites: I will delay the chore for twenty four hours just so that I can cut grass on an ozone action day. Right afterwards, I will gas up the car too. In my own little way, I enjoy the spirit of rebellion which that allows me. Take that, lefty buttinski do-gooders!

It grates on me that such a thing has become so readily accepted by our society, that we can be told when to gas up and mow lawns. It's that sort of creeping despotism which will get us in the long run, friends. The next Hitler will be a frail little man with his glasses halfway down his nose, and his army will not have guns but pencils.