The tell-tale heart

So I was sitting in an examination room at my Doctor's office as he listened to my heart. He held the stethoscope in one spot on my chest and listened. He moved it across my sternum and listened more closely. He asked me to breathe deeply, and listened more. He told me to hold my breath, and listened intently. He then put the stethoscope down, and went to the door. I heard him say, "Nurse, please bring the EKG cart".

On his return I asked with no small concern, "Why do you want the EKG cart?"

"Well, your pulse is slow. Not dangerously slow, but enough that I'd like to do an EKG," he explained.

"Okay, fine," I replied, relieved. "But could I ask you something?

"Of course."

"Maybe next time you do that, tell me what's up before asking for the EKG machine?"

He smiled sheepishly and said, "Yes, sorry. I should have done that."

No real worries on my part. He's a great doctor and I'm very glad to have him. It was simply a bit of a shock to hear the order for the EKG without knowing why, that's all. But I think we both saw it as the humorous inadvertence that it was, and nothing more.

The EKG was good by the way. I do have a functioning heart.

What you mean

There are phrases which I hate, everyday phrases which we use all the time. Well, if you catch me using one, swat me across the side of the head with a halibut. Please.
I don't want to make you feel bad, but...
I already feel bad, with that lead in. So I think you did indeed want me to feel bad.
I don't wish to intrude...
Well, you just did. So I believe that you did mean to intrude.
I don't want to tell you what to do...
Haven't you already begun to do that?
Are you doing anything?
Well, yes. As I'm always doing something, then obviously I'm doing something just now aren't I?
I don't mean to interrupt...
Yes you do. Because you just did.
There's more to come. Just give me a minute.
And that also is a phrase I hate, because they usually need more than a minute.