You can't miss it

As you know, I have words and sayings which I use regularly. So did me Pops, such as, "That'd stink a dog off a gut wagon". So did me Grandpa Joe with, "I ain't hell on pretty." Well, me Uncle John had a phrase which he actually disliked: "You can't miss it."

When giving directions, he believed, you never told someone they can't miss it. They will. If he was being given directions, he knew that, once enlightened with the fateful phrase, he would miss it. To him, the words never failed to give the opposite outcome.

He didn't believe in the fates or jinxes of course. It was more that anything can go wrong, anything can be 'missed'. The right thing to do was simply give the directions and don't mix opinion into it. Answer the question about how to go where and find what, and leave it at that.

I hope you get his point. Because, of course, you can't miss it.

I hate these lines

There are phrases which I hate, everyday phrases which we use all the time. Well, if you catch me using one, swat me across the side of the head with a halibut. Please.
I don't want to make you feel bad, but...
I already feel bad, with that lead in. So I think you did indeed want me to feel bad.
I don't wish to intrude...
Well, you just did. So I believe that you did mean to intrude.
I don't want to tell you what to do...
Haven't you already begun to do that?
Are you doing anything?
Well, yes. As I'm always doing something, then obviously I'm doing something just now aren't I?
I don't mean to interrupt...
Yes you do. Because you just did.
There's more to come. Just give me a minute.
And that's also is a phrase I hate, because they usually need more than a minute.