Football is not chess

A friend of mine has said, several times in fact, that football is chess and baseball is checkers. I laugh at that, because he could not be more wrong. Yet he thinks he's right. I find that attitude cute.

Football is chess. Really? Yet every player except the quarterback has one thing to do every play. Every player except the quarterback has only to block someone in one direction, run one route, block one man in one direction. That's it. That's all he has to do. Well, that is, until the play breaks down, at which point we have only a bunch of people who are running around hoping to be seen by the right person trying desperately to be at the right place at the right time. That ain't skill: that's anarchy, and it only works through dumb luck. How chess like.

Not.

Football players, even the quarterback, who can only act according to what is in front of him (how fortunate!) have one thing to do each and every play. And even that player, the Queen, invites all sorts of derision which we cannot express in polite company. Check down, and when all else fails, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! That comparison ain't even chess; with chess, you do what you must for the sake of the entire team, for the sake of each player on the field (because, of course, some of the players are gone at any given point in the game} who might, luckily, be open. With football, when everything goes wrong, you run around and hope for the best. Chess, ideally, anyways, is about where everyone is at a given time. So, is football chess?

Absolutely not. Chess is highly organized. Each and every piece can only do what it is assigned to do, and after that, whaaa? Pawns? Move forward one space at time, except on the first move, then at an angle only with an indirect permission: when you might capture someone of the enemy camo. Bishops? Only move diagonally, along the properly colored squares, of course! Knights? Move only at an ell, nothing more, dear fellows. Kings? Despite your high office, you have no real power. You move one space at a time. Queens can do more, and invite all sorts of jeering catcalls, as we have already said, anyway, in this day and age.

Football is chess? I laugh, because such ideals come only from those who do not understand chess. Or football.