The buffet challenge

Who doesn't love buffet restaurants? They're like a challenge, a big dare which you cannot let pass. Although they're sort of like sticking your tongue on a cold pipe when you think about it.

I should avoid buffets. Of all the food choices out there they are probably the least good for my health. So I believe that there are two approaches to buffets: avoid them altogether, or discipline yourself when you eat at one.

The latter option isn't much fun. I tried it at a breakfast buffet while on the road recently.

As I entered the dining area I told myself, steady, old boy. Just two plates. And neither heaping helpings either.

I already didn't like where that was heading.

After giving my order to the waitress along with a request for coffee and orange juice, a large orange juice because juice is good for you, isn't it, I built my first serving. A scoop of scrambled eggs, likewise a helping of hash browns, sausages, less than a half pound of bacon (I think) and sausage gravy over the eggs. No biscuits. I had to draw a line somewhere. Sacrifices had to be made.

When I sat to eat, my brain fired instructions. Break the bacon rashers and eat in two or three bites, it insisted. Split the sausages into three pieces. All right, you can dip them in the gravy on the eggs since the gravy's there. Chew everything, even the eggs. No rush to eat, Marty. You'll only eat too much.

Stupid brain.

Get a second plate. Eat it the same way, brain continued. So I did. Neither helping heaped. I finished, paid, and left, all the while telling myself that I did well. All the while trying to convince myself that I was satisfied.

Yet I can't help thinking that I lost the challenge.