Not Just for Breakfast Anymore

This or something similar has probably happened to other parents. Hopefully it was with equally uneventful results.

When our oldest was in second grade, he stopped his mother and I one morning and proudly told us that he had made his own lunch for school that day. We did all the proper oohing and ahhing which parents should, praising him for his effort. Still, when he turned his back my wife thought it best to have a look at what he had packed.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, okay.

A napkin, good.

Apple, very good.

A bottle of beer. Okay, that of course had to be switched out for a juice box. We then explained to our son, kindly because we didn't want to ruin his pride at being otherwise considerate, that he was too young for beer and that the school wouldn't allow it. He was okay with the explanation.

Can you imagine how quickly we would have been called to social services though, if she hadn't checked his lunch box?

Bad Sandwich

Yesterday I saw about the most disgusting commercial ever. It was so sickening, we ought to censor such garbage. Totally outrageous.

The lone character was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A good old PBJ. How do you mess that up? 

Well, they did. They put peanut butter on one slice of bread, and then jelly on top of the peanut butter. 

Heathens. Everyone knows that you put the peanut butter on one piece of bread and the jelly on the other and then you smush them together. Yes, smush. You never apply the jelly on the same slice as the peanut butter. I mean, how's the jelly supposed to smush (yes, smush) over the crust of the sandwich?

It was just wrong. There oughta be a law.