Wiper Cost

When I first picked up my newer older van, the 96 Chevy which went to newer older van Heaven in Alger this past August, it needed windshield wiper blades. Therefore, off I went to the auto parts store for replacements.

In the parking lot I plucked the blade off the driver's side, the worst of the two, to measure it against the new ones. An attendant in the store asked me if he could help. "I need wiper blades," I explained. Then I was able to use one of those ever-so-clever Dad jokes which everyone enjoys. "Unless you can fix this one," I said, showing the young man the shredded old wiper. Humoring an old man, he politely answered no, although he was likely feeling sorry for my kids and grandkids, a thought he kindly kept to himself.

Hammering away on a computer keyboard he soon found the requisite part number. "We have super fantastic ultra reinforced life changing windshield wiper blades for $29.99!" he exclaimed with confidence.

Now it was time for the famous Spock raised eyebrow. "Young man, it's a vehicle which is 27 model years old. I'm not spending that kind of money on wiper blades."

Sheepishly smiling, he went back to his search. A minute later he offered, "We have the in-store brand for seven dollars, sir."

"Thank you. I'll take two," I replied. I mean, how life changing can windshield wipers be?

You Can't Do That

Way back in the Eighties cars had catalytic converters in the muffler system. OK, I guess they still do, but whatever. They were expensive things either way.

Mine went out one day in some old wreck I had at the time. I went to Local Auto Parts store, figuring honestly to buy what pipes I might use to replace it. Why not? Converters really weren't very good at their purpose, and I'm cheap.

While looking around the row which had muffler pipes and clamps and such, an earnest employee approached. "Can I help you sir?"

I explained what I wanted, giving the make and model of the vehicle I wanted it for.

"Sir!" He responded in an over the top voice and manner. "I can't tell you how to replace your converter. That would be against the law. There is no way I can tell you that that...and that...and that third one there...with those clamps...will take up the space of your converter exactly!"

"Oh dear," said I, also in mockery. "I am so sorry to have bothered you." He then walked away, and I did not, wink, wink, buy those parts.