The Hatred that is Football

I want to show him the hatred that is football.

-Hank Hill, explaining the reason for taking his son Bobby to his first college football game.

Apparently there was a bit of post game dust up between Michigan and Michigan State players after last Saturday's Big Game in Ann Arbor. As of this writing, it is said that nine State players allegedly attacked two Michigan players after Michigan's 29-7 win. This comes after there were issues between Penn State and U of M in the same general area a week earlier. As both teams playing at the Big House (the nickname for Michigan's football stadium) have to exit the same tunnel to reach their locker rooms, there are calls for the school to change the way teams leave the field.

How about a few calls to train these young men, who by playing football are supposed to be changing into mature older men, to keep themselves in check? I know that's easier said than done, given that football seems hell bent on firing up emotions to the boiling point before and during games. And maybe that's the real problem. We stoke the coals of these guys to think of the other team as some kind of enemy invading their territory yet expect them to immediately chill after the final whistle.

Football isn't alone in this, although it does seem to me the main perpetrator. Overwrought celebrations after nearly ever damn play is bound to teach players egotism, an I'm better than you attitude, rather than sportsmanship.

Those are human beings on the other side of the line, guys. Show some respect. A pat on the helmet or back is enough congratulations as a rule. Running towards the sideline or the end zone looking for cameras to self comment on your awesomeness to the world is simply gauche, even mean spirited. You're being, at best, a jerk when you do that. Displays of your superiority are bound to make the other side seethe; the whole thing feeds on itself. What do we get, then?

Fights on the way to the locker room.

Yes, King of the Hill is comedy, and Hank Hill is a comic character. Yet the best humor often reflects certain truths in life. I believe Hank is onto one of them. His remark does not reflect well on reality.

Too Much

Two large universities, the University of California at Los Angeles and the University of Southern California, UCLA and USC respectively, have joined the Big Ten athletic conference. The move illustrates why I find big sports tedious.

I don't intend upon singling out college football here, or college sports in general. The phenomenon is all over the place: add more teams, which supposedly adds more excitement. Major League Baseball has 30 teams and is talking about two more. The National Football League has 32; hockey and basketball have similar numbers. Now college sports are moving into high gear on the bigger is better train, and you just know professional soccer is lathering for the day it can have franchises on every corner. 

It's already absurdly difficult to win a championship of any kind, and now we're making it even harder. And I wonder: are we truly improving things or merely diluting the talent pool and in fact depriving ourselves of better sports and games? 

Why is it done? The answer is found by following the money. It's not about the integrity of the sport. The powers that be want the cold hard cash. Bigger gets that. Earning the big bucks is better than winning championships anyway, for them. USC and UCLA don't care about winning the Big Ten in anything. They care about getting $56 million each, each year as opposed to the mere $20 million they get out of their current conference.

It has me tuning out sports of all kinds at all levels. Why bother? From a practical standpoint, nothing matters except the Big Championship Game (or series). No use investing the emotional capital before then. It's contrived for no other reason than creating a larger pie for already fat cats.

I don't need it. I'm better entertained, better informed, and I'll even add more likely to become a better person, reading a good book or engaging in good conversation. I'll venture that you might be too.

College sports really ought to be banned

I read in the Detroit Free Press this morning that most collegiate football programs, indeed most college athletics, are effectively underwritten by the schools through their general funds. That means tuition and fees pay for them. That means that too, at least for many, our taxes through our state governments pay for college sports. All this is fuel to a fire which has burning in my gut for years now. I think we ought to get rid of college athletics, or at least those which are not self supporting.

Be honest: athletics by and large are peripheral at best to the academic mission anyway. Why should our taxes pay for them? And please don't bother me about how they help kids get college education who otherwise might not, because that presumes two things both of which by and large are wrong. First, with all the money available for education these days those who really want to go to college will make it. Second, it assumes higher education has a value in any and all areas of life. It is not.

Granted, to that last point we need to destroy the mentality that you must have college to be successful. As with many other things, college can be good in some areas yet not in others. The to the question of sports: why must taxes however indirectly pay for someone's playtime? Indeed, why should taxes offer a springboard for someone else to command millions of dollars to play games?

Yes, yes, yes, some will argue that sports bring prestige to schools. Perhaps they do, to some degree. But I can't see that a serious researcher would believe that important. Someone looking for a cure for cancer surely isn't about to argue that a football program, especially when (as is true the bulk of the time) the game drains the school of funds, is really worthwhile compared to fighting disease. And I simply cannot imagine The University of Michigan or Michigan State losing image without sports. It doesn't seem to have affected Harvard or Yale, two universities not exactly well known for sports, but well known just the same.

I know this will never happen if for no other reason that too much money for too many folks is at stake; that's the same reason the tax codes will never be simplified. But we really ought to ban college athletics. They take money from the schools, taxpayers, and college loan students which they simply should not.