Shave like Marty does

I saw it on a shelf in a closet as we went through the house we had just bought. It was a boar's hair shaving brush with a orange brown handle and hair which had a black stripe near the tips. At that very moment I knew we'd be good friends. But I closed the door and left it to sit that day.

A few years later I was in a drug store and stumbled upon some cakes of shaving soap. I remembered that mug brush, bought two of those soaps, and came home. My wife gave me a coffee cup with a broken handle, of which the cakes fit into perfectly. From that day on I was fully old school. I have shaved with a mug and brush since.

I think I get a closer shave that way. My face feels better too. Wally, my old barber, said it was because of the oils in the shaving soap. I believe him; that's how he shaved customers. I'm at the point now that shaving with cream makes me feel like I just had a pie smacked onto my face. That might not be so bad if I were Soupy Sales, but I'm not. Even when I travel I just use soap for shaving.

We had a great relationship, that brush and I. Then the hairs popped out of the handle one day awhile back. I was beside myself wondering what to do. I didn't want to buy another brush: we had become too close, me and the old one. But fortunately the hairs came out in one big clump (I suppose I should have expected that they'd all be glued together at their base) and my wife had some waterproof glue which she used to re-attach the bristles to the handle.

Now all is well. I still have my old friend, and I still have the best kind of close shaves.

Take My Money, Please!

I don't mind asserting that I'm old school on many things; in fact, I revel in it. Still, it can be annoying. Quiet Ron.

Although I pay most things online I do write a couple checks a month. And because I watch my banking online I don't really pay attention to check numbers anymore, nor do I keep a check register. When I write a check, I do my dead level best to keep in mind that a check for such-and-such is out there, and to allow for it when looking in on my account.

Right now there's one check from November which has still not cleared, and it's driving me insane. Again, quiet Ron.

I contacted the people two weeks ago and they assure me they have it and will be cashing it. I have no fear of anything bad happening as they are, I am certain, reputable. But doggone it, they as yet haven't actually put it in their bank.

It's little enough that it won't cause an overdraft unless I badly lose track of things. Yet it's driving me crazy waiting. Will you please, please take my money? is not something I ever thought I'd hear myself say, to anyone under any circumstances. But I will feel much better when the check clears. 

Cloyce Construction

I have an old friend, I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name, who told me something of an embarrassing tale from his school days. Oh, it wasn't all that embarrassing. But you need to remember the times, and his age when it happened.

Cloyce was in fourth grade and the teacher decided that he and his peers were old enough to write a short paper on what they wanted to do with their lives, what careers they might like to explore. So she arranged some time at the school library for the kids to check out books on whatever future her charges may have cared to look into.

Cloyce thought that he might like to build houses. That does seem to be precisely the sort of job a ten year old boy would think cool. When he was off to himself in the library, he found a book on a shelf called How to be a Homemaker. In his mind, he wanted to build houses, so home maker in the title made sense.

Remember this was fifty or sixty years ago, when career paths were very much based on Leave it to Beaver Americana. The homemaker Cloyce's book spoke of was housewife and mother. It was not what young Cloyce expected.

"I opened the book and commenced to reading, and I saw it was nothing like I thought," Cloyce explained. "So I looked around to see that no one else saw what I had, took the book to a drop box, and told the librarian what sort of books I actually wanted."

"I wasn't caught. Can you imagine if my buddies had seen me with that?" he asked me. 

It would have been bad for a fourth grader in 1970, no doubt.

Commercials Irritate Me: A Curmudgeon Story

I fully realize and completely accept that I'm old school. I will add, however, that I don't see anything wrong with that. Ain't that exactly what an old school old man would say?

What brings this on is a commercial which just played for the umpteenth time. It's the one where Little Caesar's pizza is promoting its new pizza calzone hybrid. Hybrids all are the rage these days, you know.

My thing is, if you want pizza, why don't you get pizza? Or, likewise, a calzone if you want that. Still, that leaves the question: aren't pizzas and calzones essentially the same thing anyway? The style is different but the substance is the same, so far as I can see.

And what's the point of all this choice? Really. Doesn't it all just run together and become a blur? That's sure what it seems like to me.

Get a pizza. Or get a calzone. I don't care. But don't talk to me about the hybrids. Because, I tell you what, you're just being played. They don't care about food innovation. They just want your money.

For the record, get the pizza. Better value. Yes, that's old school old man talking again. You should listen to him.

Old school is good school

I'm begining to go old school again. I've found myself buying the morning newspaper on a more and more regular basis rather than catching up on news through my computer. That's not to say I don't use my desktop or laptop for, especially, breaking news. But buying the paper does seem to have its advantages.

It begins with my now routine morning walk. There's a party store/gas station near the end of my usual route. One day at the end of my daily constitutional I just decided I wanted a paper. For a buck fifty a day it's not a bad deal. And other things are at work too.

The newspaper never freezes. It never takes forever to load; if I'm reading an article which concludes on page 3D, I simply turn to page 3D and it's right there. And while there are adds trying to distract me they are easy to ignore. Nothing pops up on my newspaper page forcing me to click it off, nor does my text get shoved downward on the page where I have to scroll to keep up with, or look for that insolent little tiny box with the 'x' to click on, to roll what I'm reading back up. I also get the puzzles for my entertainment, and the comics are found nicely arranged on one page. No going to a couple dozen different web pages for my daily comic fix.

My computer and smart phone will always be available, and I certainly get my use out of them. Still, the morning paper has reacquired for me a certain charm. I read as I want to read, jumping from page to page as I like. It feels quicker than my computer sometimes does. It's simply a nice way to ease into my news day.

Wow. I'm loving golf and reading actual newspapers. I am getting old school.

Going old school

I'm begining to go old school again. I've found myself buying the morning newspaper on a more and more regular basis rather than catching up on news through my computer. That's not to say I don't use my desktop or laptop for, especially, breaking news. But buying the paper does seem to have its advantages.

It begins with my now routine morning walk. There's a party store/gas station near the end of my usual route. One day at the end of my daily constitutional I just decided I wanted a paper. For a buck and a half day it's not a bad deal. And other things are at work too.

The newspaper never freezes. It never takes forever to load; if I'm reading and article which concludes on page 3D, I simply turn to page 3D and it's right there. And while there are adds trying top distract me they are easy to ignore. Nothing pops up on my newspaper page forcing me to click it off, nor does my text get shoved downward on the page where I have to scroll to keep up with, or look for that insolent little tiny box with the 'x' to click on, to roll what I'm reading back up. I also get the puzzles for my entertainment, and the comics are found nicely arranged on one page. No going to a couple dozen different web pages for a comic fix.

My computer and smart phone will always be available, and I certainly get my use out of them. Still, the morning paper has reacquired for me a certain charm. I read as I want to read, jumping from page to page I feel more quickly than my computer sometimes does. It's simply a nice way to ease into my news day. Into any day.

Wow. I'm loving golf and reading actual newspapers. I am getting old school.

The daily paper

I'm begining to go old school again. I've found myself buying the morning newspaper on a more and more regular basis rather than catching up on news through my computer. That's not to say I don't use my desktop or laptop for, especially, breaking news. But buying the paper does seem to have its advantages.

It begins with my now routine morning walk. There's a party store/gas station near the end of my usual route. One day at the end of my daily constitutional I just decided I wanted a paper. For a buck a day it's not a bad deal. And other things are at work too.

The newspaper never freezes. It never takes forever to load; if I'm reading and article which concludes on page 3D, I simply turn to page 3D and it's right there. And while there are adds trying top distract me they are easy to ignore. Nothing pops up on my newspaper page forcing me to click it off, nor does my text get shoved downward on the page where I have to scroll to keep up with, or look for that insolent little tiny box with the 'x' to click on, to roll what I'm reading back up. I also get the puzzles for my entertainment, and the comics are found nicely arranged on one page. No going to a couple dozen different web pages for my daily comic fix.

My computer and smart phone will always be available, and I certainly get my use out of them. Still, the morning paper has reacquired for me a certain charm. I read as I want to read, jumping from page to page I feel quicker than my computer sometimes does. It's simply a nice way to ease into my news day.

Wow. I'm loving golf and reading actual newspapers. I am getting old school.