In Regard to Warm

One thing I've noticed as my books gain traction are the number of emails I now receive telling me how their tried and true method of getting me noticed will make me a writing star. Of course, they want money to do that. This isn't to dismiss all of them. But it dismisses most.

A common sign off, after telling me how great my books are and how their phenomenal ideas will enhance my stature, is, I've noticed, 'Warm regards' followed by a name. Where you or I might sign off 'sincerely' or the like, the ones who want cash send me warm regards.

No one whom I've ever come across in real life has said that, much less ended a letter with it. It even sounds clunky: what the hell is a warm regard anyway? Personally, I believe that it's an AI attempt at sounding as though they really mean they want the best for me, but in a rather dull manner which won't offend any denomination.

Ah well.

Warm regards,

Marty 

Spam Spam Spam Spam Unlovely Spam

I get a ton of email. Of course, I have four active accounts. That undoubtedly uh, accounts for much of it. But if I were to guess, I'd say between them all there's around 100 or so new emails each day.

They're nearly all junk. I get messages from websites that I likely had a vague interest in yet they pester me as though their business depends on mine. Many of them are book promotion entrepreneurs, all of whom assure me I'll have the next Amazon best seller with a blockbuster movie deal if I simply give them mucho dinero. A lot are for senior products, unsurprising given my age. Many are from companies I dealt with once yet can't let go of the hope I'll buy from them again one day. The sales firm where I bought one heater for the old barn in 2017 comes to mind.

About the only email box which rarely explodes of a morning is my business one, which I guard closely exactly because of that. I don't want to neglect a client or prospect merely because they get buried in numbers.

But there is a point to which I'm happy it's all emails. I'd be swimming in paper if it were all traditional snail mail. The vast majority of email solicitations I can simply delete. I could build a funeral pyre if it were all print copies of nonsense. All that would make is a great send off one day. 

What I Believe

One of the little annoyances (did I talk about annoying things yesterday? Oh well) are the bulk emails which I get nearly every day that begin, "I believe you're the right person to speak to about attending our conference...getting us on your mailing list...placing an ad in our trade magazine...and so on, ad infinitum. I like to toss in a bit of Latin occasionally because it gives my blog intelligence and class.

I actually answer each and every one of those mass emails. I simply respond, "I believe you're wrong. Good day."

I mean, I hate for their guesswork to be completely unacknowledged.