Clear Orders from Headquarters

I took me Mom out shopping yesterday, and when we were finished and back in the new old van she blurted, "Are we gonna eat?"

"Sure," I answered. "We're about 45 minutes from home. We can make sandwiches when we get there," I continued, joshing her.

Immediately, I knew I had crossed a line. Stepped on toes. Creased the envelope. Went a bridge too far. She was giving me the Mom stare.

I returned the glare, melting all the while just the same, because you better not turn away either. Being a Mom, she had to let it burn into me for a few seconds. Finally she said with certainty, "We will go to McDonald's, or maybe Burger King, and get cheeseburgers."

"Yes ma'am. Absolutely, ma'am. Right away, ma'am. We'll go to McDonald's..."

"Or Burger King."

"Yes, ma'am, or Burger King, ma'am. For cheeseburgers, ma'am."

She nodded regally. 

I think she was only teasing. But I was glad we quickly came upon a BK.

My Left Foot

Everything was going well. My doctor had the order for my foot X-rays ready when I arrived at his office. There was no one in front of me at the X-ray station at the hospital next door. Yesterday was proceeding rather smoothly indeed.

Then I had to get the actual X-rays.

I did not know that my foot could get into the positions the technician put it into. Neither did the rest of me. As I sat up on the table and he twisted my left foot outward, a complete chain reaction was caused along my entire body. I had to turn myself against my left hip, stretch my leg out, and hold my torso up with my hands behind my back (otherwise he would not have gotten the right angle). It was as if I were playing solo Twister while gamma rays were being fired into my body. 

"Hold perfectly still," the technician told me sternly.

I laugh. Ha, ha! Surely you jest.

That's when I got the Mr. Spock raised eyebrow. The X-ray tech did not, in fact, jest.

Fortunately that was the worst of the five X-rays taken, although the other four had their own special levels of discomfort. I appreciated getting that first one out of the way though. 

The damn thing is that through all the twisting and turning and hold still-ing, my ankle didn't hurt at all. Not one bit. I could hardly walk on Thursday (which prompted my call to the doctor who ordered the X-rays). Foot pain has been an issue for me off and on for at least a year, foot and ankle pain so bad I could barely hobble around at times. But as it's becoming more on than off, it was high time to do something about it, right? Yet I had no pain at all while enduring the procedures. I walked out of the hospital just fine after hobbling in. 

Of course, when I stepped out of my new old van on returning home, I nearly went down in a heap. So it goes.

My doctor will have the X-rays Tuesday, so hopefully I'll have reasonably good news then. I fully expect the diagnosis to be COVID though.

Sorry. I couldn't resist that.

X-Ray Marty

Well, I'm heading out in a few minutes to have an X-ray. My left ankle has been painful off and on for awhile now, so me doctor wants to see what's wrong. It's weird; the ankle will be fine for days, maybe even a few weeks, and out of nowhere, and I mean literally out of nowhere, it'll hurt like hell and I can't put weight on it. 

No, I did not twist my ankle wrenching my foot out of my mouth. So. There.

Although I suppose, metaphorically, I have had my foot in my mouth a lot.

January 12 in History

What happened on January 12 in history you ask? A few things.

Some guy became the emperor of the Byzantine Empire today in 475.

Another guy became King of Burma on this day in 1553.

A Brazilian city was founded in 1616.

In Charleston, South Carolina, a Museum opened in 1773.

Someone became Emperor of China on this day in 1875.

Some couple got married today in 2001.

There you have it. Today in history.

Oops...it seems that the guy who became King of Burma became so on this date in 1554. My apologies.

Lemon Lime Risks

I am often accused of being unwilling to try new things. That is patently unfair. I'm more than willing enough to try new things.

Why, just yesterday while I was in Dollar General buying blood orange flavored carbonated water I took  a walk out on the edge. I loosened my wild side. Determining to try something different, I bought - you'll gasp at how bold of a choice this was - lemon lime flavored water. 

It tasted like lime with a twist of lemon. Or maybe lemon with a shot of lime juice, I'm not sure. 

I also went ahead and bought two bottles of blood orange, just to make sure I had something I like. No reason to throw all caution to the wind now, is there?

Trying to Force a Joke

I wonder, if you illegally took a loaf of German fruit bread from a store, would that make it stolen stollen?

You see, stollen is a kind of German fruit bread. And stolen is the illegally taking of someone else's stuff. When you put the two words together, see, there's a sort of pun at work, running them together like that. Stolen Stollen. It's alliterative too. That means it's sort of funny, and sort of a joke.

Oh bother. Me brothers were right. It isn't going to work. Especially since it would be difficult to steal stollen, as the powdered sugar topping which stollen often has for icing would leave a trail.

Popes, People, and Pets

I really don't know what to make of Pope Francis. Bluntly said, and Heaven help me if I'm wrong, I've found myself wondering whether he is an anti-Pope of some sort, given his apparent blind eye toward critical issues and events within the Church and seeming anathema over certain traditions. Then he says something which is actually bold and forceful, and is unfairly maligned. He says something which is exactly the sort of thing one should expect that the leader of the Catholic Church might say, and gets lambasted for it.

Stripped of the overwrought emotion which the Holy Father's critics have aimed at him, all Pope Francis effectively said the other day (you can read his actual words here: Pope and pets ) was that when people in a legitimate position to have children choose to raise or rescue animals in place of having or adopting human children, they are selfish. He asserted this on the very reasonable ground that human beings are more important than animals, that people simply are on a higher moral plane than other creatures on Earth. Our obligations toward our fellow human beings are naturally more demanding on us than our obligations towards mere animals.

I don't see a thing in the world wrong with such an attitude. Of all the criticisms I've heard lobbed at him over his remarks, he didn't at all condemn those who, through no fault of their own, couldn't have children. He didn't say there weren't legitimate psychological, physical, medical, economic or other reasons not to have kids. He didn't say people were wrong to be single by choice (or certainly by circumstance). He didn't say it was wrong to have pets, or that animals should be treated poorly. He simply said that if you're in a reasonable position to support kids you should, up to and including adoption, and that thus choosing to have pets instead of children wrongly puts animals above people. Simple as that. It's a valid point to make, and based on what Catholic teaching has held for centuries.

If you don't agree with him, fine, don't agree with him. But he expressed a perfectly true sentiment which ought not shock anyone: people are more important than animals, and deserve greater care and consideration than they do.  Real, and even potential, children, merit it. Using that guide, the Pope merely asserts that pets and other animals should never be put before or in place of kids in the grand scheme of things.

And you know what? He's right.