A Buck Ten

Remember when I said that I no longer pay my work electric bill online? Well, if not, look here. Electric Company wanted a $9-dollar monthly fee to pay that way. I decided, forget that stuff (me Grandpa Joe used to say stuff rather than the obvious, cruder word), I'll send a check and make you process it. I further would kill every electric appliance or light whenever not absolutely needed, in order to deprive Electric Company of more than my nine bucks.

I suppose you don't actually have to click that link, now that I've summarized the tale after all.

Be that as it may, I decided to see how much my electric bill has dropped since my hissy fit. Lo and behold, in looking over the bills of the last three months, I've saved about two dollars each month since getting out the checkbook. As payments by mail cost me about 90 cents per month, I'm around a buck-ten ahead every time I pay by mail. I figured it would be a wash, but how about that, as my old friend Mel Allen would say.

Yeah, I know Electric Company doesn't care. Yet I'll still call it a win.

It's in the Air

Really wasn't sure what to expect going in, but this turned out to be one of the most unique and atmospheric sci-fi stories I've read in a while. The plot unfolds with impressive precision. The author takes time to develop complex, relatable characters whose personal struggles feel deeply grounded even as larger, more menacing forces begin to shift around them. I enjoyed following the main character’s journey as he begins to discover more about himself and his purpose.

So says Nicole about my book A Subtle Armageddon. I was striving, I really had no choice, but to build a world from the ground up, one where learning was possible without overt guidance. I'm quite happy she found it 'unique and atmospheric' with a plot of 'impressive precision'.

Might you feel the same? Look here and see.

Right At Home

Those who know me know that the check engine light means nothing to me. It simply doesn't tell us anything worth worry. When it comes on in one of my vehicles, I look on it as little more than the aging process. The car is getting old.

Imagine my delight, then, with the cargo van I rented last week. As I was about an hour into my trip, I noticed that the check engine light in the dashboard was on. 

I chuckled. Do they know me that well? "Hey boss, the check engine light is on on unit 1234," a tech might have said.

"We're stuck for vehicles today. Give it to Marty. He won't care, and we can deal with it later," the boss would have replied.

And I indeed had no problem. No problem at all.

A sledgehammer and an ax

You can have fun with tools. You can have a lot of fun with heavy tools, such as a sledgehammer and an ax. Me and me Grandpa Joe proved that one day in dismantling a stove.

Joe had bought this house to fix up and either sell or use as a rental property. It had this monstrous iron stove in the kitchen; I believe the place used to be a social club of some sort which offered meals. Whatever the reason it was there, it was the biggest stove I'd ever seen outside of a restaurant. 

What was pretty clear was that it wasn't carried into that kitchen but assembled there. We had no idea how to dismantle it, so we approached the problem the Cosgriff way. We got a twenty pound sledge and a large ax and began hammering and hacking away at the behemoth.

It wasn't long before chunks and slivers of iron were flying all over the place. I was a teenager, a kid who didn't even consider basic safety equipment such as goggles, and God knows the thought never entered Joe's mind. We just had at it, striking at the dragon's maw until there were small enough bits and pieces to carry out of the house and to the scrap yard. Within about a half hour of attacking the thing it was vanquished. It was no more.

Damn, that was fun. One of me best times with me Grandpa Joe.

Better Than Nothing

Getting old means Medicare. Medicare A is what we've paid for all our working lives. Medicare B covers things A doesn't. Then there's, well in my case, anyway, Medicare G, which covers stuff A and B blow off. It costs me $173 a month.

But it's $173 dollars well spent. Yes, it is. Why, I just received a letter from the Medicare G agents informing me that they happily covered my 52-cent co-pay on a recent medical test. Yessir, 52 Lincolns which ain't coming out of my pocket. And all the privilege set me back was $173. A month. That's $2,076 a year.

All right, full disclosure, they've paid for more than that in the year and a half I've been on Medicare, although still far under the yearly sticker price. I just got a kick out of them taking the time to send me a note for their generosity in covering that particular 52 cents for me.  They have my back.

Dragnet Hockey

I was just watching the intro to a Dragnet episode. You know, the one where Jack Webb tells us all about how great Los Angeles is. He liked to give short tours of the city as he lead into that day's program. 

This morning he was talking about the sports scene. There was a shot of the sports arena where the Los Angeles Kings played at the time. Webb explained that they played ice hockey. My question: is that a dated reference? Does anyone say 'ice hockey' anymore?

That's what I got for you today. Enjoy your Friday.

Bounce Cars

You all know what bounce houses are I'm sure. They're the large, inflated play pens often seen at children's parties. Kids jump up and down in them, caroming off the floor and walls and each other. They're meant to burn all that excess energy out of the young 'uns so they'll fall asleep as soon as they get home.

I happened to catch an episode of the old police procedural Highway Patrol the other morning. If you think Sgt. Joe Friday has a machine gun delivery, Broderick Crawford, the lead in Highway Patrol, puts him to shame. Crawford's delivery is so rapid fire you almost need captions. No one talks that rat-a-tat in real life. 

Anyway, Highway Patrol aired in the late 1950s, when vehicles were monstrous land battleships. Not only were they huge, the bounced around as though shock absorbers and springs were an afterthought. It appeared as if the front and rear fenders were bouncing up off the ground whenever a car would stop or turn or even wink at a pothole. Those cars rocked back and forth like a teeter-totter even when slowing to a stop.

"Should we put something on our vehicles to make the ride smoother?" I could imagine an automotive engineer back then ask during R&D.

"Nah," his supervisor might reply. "They're land battleships. Let 'em bounce along the road as though they're really on the high seas."

Watch an episode of that old show. You'll see what I mean.