Can't be that busy

I remember me Pops would frequently ask, to no one in particular and everyone in general, "You ever notice that the guys who claim they're the busiest always have the time to tell you how busy they are?" It sure seems that way.

I had a customer at the Shop yesterday who came in (without his machine for some reason) and wanted to know how much and how long to put a chuck on his Eel. I told the man twenty five bucks and we could do it while he waits. "Cool. Let me go get my machine Cosgriff and I'll be right back. I got a lotta jobs waiting."

He left to get his machine an hour later. Several times in the interim as he was supposedly about to leave he would stop before reaching the door and ask about a cutter, or the turnaround time on rewiring his unit, or simply to tell me about how much he loves his Model C Eel. I ended up fibbing to him and said I had to close at three, just to expedite things. Well, to move him on anyway. "Okay, Cosgriff. Let me go get it 'cause I'm really busy. Got a lotta jobs lined up."

I hope he was very busy, because he was really selling me on the point. Yet he did not return by three. Or by my actual closing for that matter.

Drain Snake Methodology

The other day I found myself talking to myself while I installed a new reverse switch on an Electric Eel Model C (Electric Eel: for all your drain cleaning needs). Only thing was, the customer was standing right by me as I worked. Only other thing was, I didn't care.

At one time I would have been embarrassed by that. Yet this time around I even remarked to the guy, "A fella's getting pretty comfortable with who he is and what he's doing when he can carry on a conversation with himself and another man standing there."

He just smiled and replied, "I ain't sayin' nuthin, Cosgriff. I don't want to interfere with your method."

Thank you sir. That's what we'll call it: my method. It sounds a far sight better than going crazy.

What Difference Does it Make?

There was once a plumber who came to our Shop who was a bit rough around the edges. I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name. Cloyce was a good guy and a good plumber just, as I said, rough around the edges. Gruff. He was also from England. Not that that matters, except to the story.

One day as he waited for me to put a new cord on his Electric Eel Model C (Electric Eel: for all your drain cleaning needs) I decided to engage him in conversation and to satisfy my curiosity about a question. "So where exactly in England are you from, Cloyce?" I asked.

He asked in return, "Do you know England very well?"

"No, not really," I replied honestly.

"Then what the (insert common expletive here) difference does it make?"

I was initially surprised, then I laughed out loud. It was vintage Cloyce.

He was from Norwich, just so you know. Although I don't know what the (insert common expletive here) difference it makes.

Indexing

Our furnace went out overnight Sunday to Monday. Happy days. At least it didn't pick the very coldest time to fail us. But it seems to have tried.

Yet this provided an instance where Marty, yes, even Marty, was able to take advantage of an inspiration he had years ago. I began saving phone numbers with clues to the owner. One customer might be 'Cloyce, owns C', for example. This meant his name was Cloyce and he owned a Model C Electric Eel (Electric Eel: for all your drain cleaning needs). As such, I had an solid idea of who was calling when the phone summoned me.

Likewise, this habit helps in other ways. If I want to call someone it gives me a clue who to look up. In this week's case, I couldn't remember my furnace guy's name. So I literally search my contacts for 'Furnace Guy' and up pops 'Steve Furnace Guy'. Hey presto, I'm on my way to renewed home heating.

Of course, I don't save Ron as anything but Ron. Because, Ron. Those who know, know.

Feeding Time

As a salesman, I keep an eye out for trends. For whatever reason, certain things sell at certain times, others at other times, and sometimes things simply come into demand out of the blue.

There is an accessory for the Electric Eel (Electric Eel: for all your drain cleaning needs!) called a feeding tool. It helps 'feed' the steel cable into a pipeline. You get one with every Model C machine purchase. Yet I've never actually sold many of them piecemeal. Indeed I was selling so few that I had quit stocking them. Then one random day a random guy asked for one, and I ordered two. One for him, one for stock because, well, why not?

The gentleman picked his up and the other sold soon thereafter. I ordered two more.

Those sold in a New York minute. I ordered two more, which likewise moved out of the old barn in haste. So, methinks, there appears a trend hath developed. Yon feeding tool be in demand. I ordered six. Last May. May 2024, I must add.

If you need a second guess how many I still have in stock today, September 6, 2025, you are denser than granite. I guess trends work unpredictably in both directions.

Patron Saint of What?

The phone rang yesterday morning; it was a customer in distress. "Oh, man, Marty, I'm glad you're there! I need help, and you're the Patron Saint of Drain Cleaners!"

Well, how about that? I'm a saint while I'm still here on Earth. But what would my stained glass window look like?

It would be in a large cathedral, of course, with me operating a genuine Electric Eel Model C, hands firmly on the handle, cable held straight, my eyes turned piously towards Heaven as the water begins to drain down the pipe. An aura, a subdued halo would be around my head as I gaze, perhaps. I might be wearing the brown robe of a monk. Bright, shining yellow glass from above my head would appear to  bless my task. Just imagine the actual Sun coming through all that. Saint Marty of Detroit, Patron of Drain Cleaners, would be on a small plaque at the bottom of the window. An Angelic Choir can be heard in the background.

I like it.

Just Because

December has been a great months for sales, and that's good. Because I'm in sales.

Last week I sold two Model C Electric Eel drain cleaners, one on each of two consecutive days. I like that. Because I'm in sales.

Yesterday a very good customer, indeed one of my best, called from Saginaw (about two hours north of Detroit) and asked about getting 30 cables ASAP.  I told him I'd bring them right away. He kindly offered to meet halfway, which I did appreciate, so we set up a meeting point. "I'm not putting you out, am I, Marty?" the man asked me over the phone.

"My friend, I sell things. Delivery is in the job description!" I assured him.

The fact is I like being on the road. I like seeing people, especially those who, at the risk of sounding trite, are friends as much as customers. Ask me to help you; it's all good. Because I'm in sales.

Stating the obvious

A customer picked up his brand new Electric Eel Model C yesterday. As he looked it over like a kid with a new toy he said, "Man, that's one bad mother..."

We both then exclaimed at the same time, "Shut your mouth!" and laughed uproariously.

Yeah, it was kinda obvious. He was clearly going for the joke, and it was pretty easy to anticipate. Still, it was a fun few seconds. I like moments like that.

Be like Joe, sometimes

Me Grandpa Joe would lose his temper at the drop of a hat. Lord love him, it was often uncalled for and childish, something I believe even he would admit now. But let me tell you, some days I actually respect his loss of temper and want to emulate it. Yesterday was one of those days.

A customer brought in an Eel and said it needed a reverse switch. To save me time, he said (I don't doubt for a minute he tried to fix himself but couldn't in fact) he had bought a switch to me. I asked him to leave the machine as I had many repairs in front of him, but promised I would get to it promptly.

Now, I don't care what you're told, unless it's obvious you never take a customer's word on a repair. If a man tells me his machine doesn't run, the first thing I do is plug it in and hit the power button. With the aforementioned job, the first thing I did was put my jumper wires on at the reverse switch. The machine ran both ways; he had a problem in his wiring.

I called to tell him that, and to give him an estimate on rewiring the thing. His incredulous tone told me he wasn't sure he believed me. "But I'm sure it's the switch," he responded from his end of the phone.

That put me out a little bit but I kept my tongue. "Sir, I bypassed the switch. You've got a break somewhere in the wiring," I said. Again.

"But I tested it myself. It has got to be the reverse switch, man."

Those words set me off, truth be told. Yet I held myself in check, took a deep breath, and said, "My friend, you can come down to my shop right now, I will do nothing else to your machine, and I will show you. Your switch is fine. You need new cords."

That's what actually did happen. What I wanted to happen was to fly off the handle and yell at the top of my voice, "No! It does not got to be the reverse switch man! It does got to be the cords! I tested it, I know what I'm doing! If it was the reverse why didn't you have it fixed already instead of bringing it to me? If you knew what the hell you were doing, you wouldn't have brought it to me!" And so on and so forth.

He agreed to the price and I rewired the machine, even allowing him the $15 cost of the switch he brought me. I could keep it in my stock and would use it eventually. Yet when he picked it up he was still mystified that it wasn't the reverse switch. And I still held my temper. Barely.

At the end of the day it was the best thing to do.

Joking with customers

I like joking with customers. All right, I like joking with anybody. It makes the day go better, and, well, yeah, it's more fun.

An older gentleman came into the Shop yesterday wanting parts for his Electric Eel. He had the original receipt, showing that he had bought it off me Pops in 1992. He said he needed this, that, and the other thing to make repairs on the unit. He asked, clearing going for the funny, "So what is the warranty on these Eels?"

Sensing he was a bit of a joker, I replied, "Ohh, sorry, sir. The warranty expires after 25 years."

"I knew I should have come in two years ago!" he exclaimed. We both had a good laugh.

I like things like that.

Time's a wastin' for the busy man

I remember me Pops would frequently ask, to no one in particular and everyone in general, "You ever notice that the guys who claim they're the busiest always have the time to tell you how busy they are?" It sure seems that way.
I had a customer at the Shop yesterday who came in (without his machine for some reason) and wanted to know how much and how long to put a chuck on his Eel. I told the man twenty five bucks and we could do it while he waits. "Cool. Let me go get my machine Cosgriff and I'll be right back. I got a lotta jobs waiting."
He left to get his machine an hour later. Several times in the interim as he was supposedly about to leave he would stop before reaching the door and ask about a cutter, or the turnaround time on rewiring his unit, or simply to tell me about how much he loves his Model C. I was as always happy to hear that (the Electric Eel Model C is the best mainline drain cleaner available, period) and was okay talking and answering his questions. Still, I finally told him I had to close at three just to expedite things. "Okay, Cosgriff. Let me go get it 'cause I'm really busy. Got a lotta jobs lined up."
I hope he was very busy, because he was really selling me on the point.

A more serious Cloyce story

I think yesterday that I had my first wistful old guy moment.
A call came in from a fellow I hadn't seen in better than thirty years; I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name. Back then he worked for Smith Plumbing yet had long since left for a different job. These days he's the plumber for a nearby school district. For years he hated the drain snake they had yet through Dame Fortune stumbled onto one of ours, a genuine Electric Eel Model C exactly like he used at Smith's. It was buried in storage, where Cloyce discovered it looking for something else. Needing a few cutting tools he went to Electric Eel's website and found us. "Marty, it's a voice from the past. I'm Cloyce. I worked at Smith's, remember?"
"In fact I do," I answered. Indeed I remembered his voice quite clearly. "How are you?"
"Good." He explained the situation and when I said I had what he wanted in stock, he came on down.
An hour later he was in the old barn and we were talking old times. "Mr. Smith died awhile back. Drank himself to death unfortunately," Cloyce explained.
"That's sad," I responded sadly. You do hate to hear things like that.
Cloyce's face then actually lit up. "Hey, how's your Dad?" he asked expectantly.
"We lost him five years ago next month. June 25th."
"I'm really sorry Marty. I always liked listening to his jokes and stories."
"Thanks. I, I like hearing that," I stammered.
We spent an hour talking about old plumbers, telling each other tales neither of us (I think) had heard. We talked about old Tiger Stadium and how we both missed it, that we both had good times taking our kids there. He showed me pictures of an old Corvette Stingray he'd bought off Smith's widow. He restored it and was going to sell it. "Too much car for me, but the guy who was first trying to buy it was ripping her off."
It was odd hearing Cloyce's voice coming from the face of a much older man. He maybe thought the same about Marty's voice coming from me. I guess that's how it is when you don't see someone in three decades.
It was a nice visit. "I'm glad you guys are still in it. It was good to see you man," Cloyce was saying as he left.
"Good seeing you too," I said, and I meant it truly.
"I'll be back when I need more stuff."
"Great, thanks." He got into his work truck and was on his way.
I made myself a cup of coffee on my new used Keurig and sat quietly at my desk for a few minutes. After taking a sip when the coffee had cooled a bit I thought, 'Well, that reverse switch ain't gonna install itself'. I went back to work.