Mannix Alarm

Early yesterday morning something happened to me which, honestly, never did before. I was woken up by Joe Mannix, the old TV private detective played by Mike Connors.

I needed to leave on a sales trip at 2:30 in the wee hours of Tuesday. Also - you'll need to know this - I leave the television on overnight. My channel of choice lately has been METV, which offers a variety of older shows, most of which date to the early 1970s. I've become pretty aware of what's on when.

So I crawl into bed early Monday evening with the boob tube on and set an alarm for 1:30. Soon enough I've drifted off. Within in what felt like a few minutes I found myself in that half awake twilight I believe most of us experience from time to time. But I could hear the TV, and vaguely thought, 'That sounds like Mike Connors; Mannix must be on.' I fell back into a deeper sleep.

Then I woke with a shock. Mannix doesn't start until 2. I'd missed my alarm! Looking at my phone screen, it was 2:38. When I set the 1:30 alarm I neglected to save it. Consequently, of course, it didn't ring.

Fortunately I had no set appointments, so precise timing on my trip wasn't paramount. Still, uh, it pays to know your TV schedule?

Mannix, Cannon, and Barnaby Jones

As the title may suggest, if it doesn't in fact hit you over the head like the proverbial hammer, I just finished a trifecta of old detective shows this morning. In three hours I watched one episode each of Mannix, Cannon, and Barnaby Jones. Do you know what they had in common? Other, that is, than being old TV shows about private eyes?

The cars they drove were huge. Veritable battleships.

I had forgotten how big cars from the Sixties and Seventies had been. I remember driving them well enough. Me Grandpa Joe had several which required a city block to park. One old Chrysler Imperial alone of his could have served as an aircraft carrier. I think it had 12 large white wall tires. Per side.

Frank Cannon drove a Ford LTD which could be surrounded by a moat and serve as a siege castle. It had its own drawbridge. Mannix, well, you couldn't actually see him as he worked. The car took up the whole screen. Barnaby Jones took 30 seconds getting out of his Caddy. He nicked the camera on a wide right turn.

I had truly forgotten how big those old vehicles could be. They totally distracted from the plots of the shows. I think somebody got murdered and the detectives caught them as the guilty died of boredom waiting for their cars to completely arrive.