Curiouser and Curiouser

I drink a lot of flavored carbonated water these days: about a quart a day. So naturally, the point came where I read the nutrition information on the bottle. There are three servings per bottle. One serving is zero calories, while a full bottle has ten calories. 

Now, I'm no math whiz. But shouldn't that mean that there's just over three calories per serving? Or do the calories magically develop once you've had the last swig of the bottle?

Can we transfer this science to, say, cake? Unless I eat the whole cake there aren't any calories? Sure would make dieting easier. And more fun.

Going Bananas Foster

Do you want to know what will break your diet? Do you want to know what will tell your diet to walk out that door and don't never come back, don't even glance over your shoulder? I'll tell you what. But first, a backstory. That always aids understanding, right?

I'm trying to count my calories. Yes, I am. Really. I'm also trying to eat better. Yes, I am. Really. 

As part of all that, I bought a box of Raisin Bran this past Sunday. Bran is good for you right? But when I went to have a bowl this morning, there was no milk. Bound and determined to have that cereal and start towards better health and better eating habits, I ran around to the local supermarket. For a half a gallon of milk. That's all.

I passed right by these delightful iced cinnamon rolls and nearly bought a package. But, no, no, no, Marty. Diet. Calories. Discipline. Raisin Bran. Hold firm old bean. And I did tow the line, I held firm. I did not buy the rolls. Despite how well they go with morning coffee.

Grabbing the milk from the far back corner of the store, I made my way to the cash register via the ice cream aisle. What could go wrong? Because it can't, you know, hurt just to see what kind of ice cream was available.

So you know what will break your diet? Bananas Foster ice cream will more than break it. It absolutely destroys it. It leaves your diet in a mushroom cloud wafting deliriously towards the ceiling. That diet is vaporized when Bananas Foster is through with you. 

So there's always tomorrow to start my diet anew. It's not like I ate the whole half gallon. 

Quiet Ron.