Cloyce Certainty

I have a good friend, I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name, who had fretted to the point of insanity over a recent jury summons. His instructions were to call jury service after 5 PM the afternoon before the scheduled service date to find out if he actually had to report.

Now, Cloyce is just a bit paranoid. He never feels certain about certainty even when it's perfectly obvious what a given situation means. Duly calling the phone number on the summons the night before, he was told he didn't have to report. Yet he nonetheless checked online, where it showed his service was cancelled. Cloyce even scanned the QR Code on the summons, and was informed he could stay home. Still, Cloyce expressed fear over the matter. "I hope I don't actually have jury duty after all," he remarked to me.

"Well," I replied, "Maybe send them a telegram. What about a carrier pigeon? Have you tried smoke signals? Semaphore? An aldis lamp? Drum messaging like the ancients used? It doesn't seem that you've employed all your options."

Cloyce just stared at me. Yet I think he was simply processing the information, as I did see a Western Union van outside of his home later than night.