All right, folks, I'm afraid I have to call you out. Each and every one of you. Yes, you too, that one of you who thinks I can't be talking about him. It's Christmas Eve Eve, and I'm hearing crickets.
You ought to remember that I created the Holiday I put a lot - a lot - of thought into it. As second after second passed that day so long ago I was beginning to fear that the creative juices had escaped me, that I would not be able to come up with this new day to celebrate. Yet I did find the inspiration, and offered you the fruit of my genius free of charge and for your own benefit. And what have you done with it?
Nothing. Zip, zilch, nada.
So we're going to try it again. Get with the program, slackers. Yes, even you. You know who you are.
Happy Christmas Eve Eve, everybody!
Was that so hard?
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