The Golf Talk

The golf league which I play in on Tuesday nights is filled with a good bunch of guys. Yet they are decidedly better golfers than I am. For nine holes the bulk of the scores are in the 40s. There's typically a couple high 30s, while an errant one or two cross 50. I hover around sixty, with a league high mandated handicap of 18, whatever that entails, because I don't actually understand handicaps either.

I can't putt and I can't chip. I can be okay off the tee and from the fairway. Occasionally I sniff mediocrity. On one 510 yard par 5 yesterday I scored six, a bogey. But I was on the green in four and the two putt gave me six. Given that my game, uh, lacks consistency, I'm okay with that result. 

With yesterday's round we've played 81 holes. I've won two. So you have a pretty solid idea of where I rank with the other players.

It wasn't without surprise when the man who runs the league, a truly nice fellow named Roger, took me aside in the clubhouse as I went to leave. "There's a consensus among the guys, Marty, that we need to make the league more fun for you. So we've decided it's okay if you want to start from the near tees when we play," he was saying. Then he quickly added, "Please don't take this the wrong way." The concern in his voice was readily evident.

The truth is, it was all I could do not to laugh out loud. I was also rather embarrassed for Roger being obviously embarrassed talking to me. But the fact is, I get it. They're trying to make rounds against me more competitive. What I found funny was this poor guy feeling badly enough that he was trying to dance around it. In an odd way, I appreciate his meaning and intent.

I assured Roger that I was having fun and that I was grateful the others welcomed me as they had because to an, ahem, tee, they've been kind and supportive both personally and golf-wise.

Of course, next week I will play from the near tees. I don't want to offend their goodwill.