Grant Smoked

Writing is more than basic grammar, no matter how important that may be. Style plays its part too. Then there's the mechanics of the story. There are certain things you want to establish for the sake of the plot. This includes the traits of the main characters. A writer wants you to get to know them, to understand their feelings, their limitations, the forces they may battle internally or externally. Sometimes you simply want a certain trait exposed, to give the reader an almost physical picture of the man, woman, child, or scene.

I just finished reading a trilogy by Newt Gingrich (yes, the former Congressman, but how many other Newts do you know?) and William Forstchen. They wrote an alternate history of our Civil War. Although I wasn't bowled over, it's not a terrible read. It had quite a few grammar issues which, you would think, a book at that level would not have. That's a distraction. Bad grammar only works situationally. 

But I digress. What bugged me more than the lack of proper Oxford commas were two almost innocuous things. One was the incessant presentation of coffee. Now, I love my cup of joe. Having characters drink coffee will certainly help me relate to them, and in a positive way. Yet every single time more than two people got together Newt and William would make it a point to say, in very certain and repetitive terms, that so and so gave someone coffee. So and so served coffee, and so and so took it and blew across the rim of the cup to cool it before sipping. It wasn't long before I was completely exasperated. We, the readers, understand. Coffee is served at meetings, even councils of war. Can't we safely presume that by the third gathering? Does it really need to be pointed out every damn time someone enters Bobbie Lee's tent?

Then there was General Grant. He smoked cigars, pretty much one after another. I know that because I've studied history, but now because every single time someone approached him Newt and William made it a point to say, "The General struck a match on the table and puffed a cigar to life."

"The General struck a match against his boot and brought his cigar to life."

"Grant dropped his cigar butt to the ground and ground it out with his heel. Then he struck a match against his leather gloves and brought another cigar to life." It was like, we are going to establish the hell out the fact that Grant smoked.

By halfway through the trilogy I was almost screaming, "I GET IT. Grant chain smoked. Shut up about that now! In the name of all that's good and holy, just let us presume Grant was smoking a cigar whenever he appeared. It's very, very clear, Newt! Insanely, crystally clear in fact.

I haven't even gotten into how verbose Newt and William were. But, the immediate writing lesson. Writing is more than grammar, and you only to need to establish something once. You weren't writing a Dick and Jane book, Mr. Gingrich.