If Need Be

At around Noon yesterday I sat along the concourse of Comerica Park waiting for the Detroit Tigers-Baltimore Orioles game. It was an awful 10-9 loss for the home team, one which makes me hate removing pitchers too quickly and the ghost runner in extra innings all the more. But enough of that rant, even if it needs to be said. I have a joke to tell this morning. A very bad one, but better than the game. Honest.

A few feet away from the picnic table where I ate a piece of pizza and drank a Diet Coke, there was, mounted on an iron beam, a defibrillator. They're rather common these days, and understandably so. Yet that one heralded across the top of the box, 'Emergency Defibrillator'. Does that mean it can only be used when the regular defibrillator doesn't work or is not available?

Look, I was up front that it was a bad joke. But it was better than the game, at least for us Tigers fans.

Marty the Ghost Hunter

A storm with high winds knocked out the power awhile back. That was frustrating on several counts, not the least of which was that it reminded one of how much he relies on electricity.

No power? Well, let me check on the status of repairs on the Internet...except with the power out, there's no Internet.

Well, then, I'll watch T...V...

All right, I'll nuke a quick bite of something. Oh, yeah. No electric, no microwave. And you want to leave the fridge and freezer closed anyway.

Okay, I'll read then. Click, click, click on the light switch before remembering, stupidly, no power, no lights.

So you just lay in bed. Of course, you might as well silver lining the outage, right? So I became a ghost hunter.

Whenever I did venture through the house, I used my cell phone to illuminate where I walked. Not the flashlight setting, because that would use too much battery power. I simply flipped on the screen light, which gave just enough glow to light my way.

It also gave the hallways, stairs, and rooms that soft gray green light which ghost hunting shows seem to have patented. Then my mind saw all the movement which managed to escape into the shadows right before I could really see it. I could the feel the cold air presence of the poor souls trapped, doomed to eternal, earthly dwelling. Near whispers emanated from all around me.

Of course I never actually found ghosts. And a good for them, too, because I'd have given them what for if I had.