Canadian Form

Americans have a tendency to look at all things government and wonder, "How can I circumvent that?" For me a good example lies in a mere traffic signal.

One afternoon I sat in the left turn lane of an avenue which held me still because of a steady red arrow. That arrow meant that I couldn't turn. I found myself asking impertinent questions. Can I turn now? Will I get away with it? How much would the ticket be if not? Would there be points on my driver's license? There was absolutely no other traffic. I could have done it, I could have turned. In the end I waited for a green arrow. Curse your timidly in the face of tyranny, Marty.

Contrast this to the Canadian ideal of simply being nice. As it happened, I was soon after the above related incident driving along a route in Canada with a Canadian friend as a passenger. Caught by a solid red arrow at an intersection where I needed to go left, I asked my buddy if I might ignore the signal. "Oh, bad form," he advised me.

Yanks care about getting away with something. Canadians? Well, you decide.

Canada Geese are Arrogant

Twice this week I've been stopped while driving by Canada Geese. They just march into the road like they own it and all us drivers wait, uh, patiently. 

This past Sunday me Mom and I were caught by a traffic signal on Ford Road in Canton, Michigan. Three geese, biding their time at the corner, began sauntering across the highway. Never mind the heavy Sunday afternoon traffic which had to sit as the light cycled through a couple of times. The birds had the green light at the start and were taking it. Mom did get a kick out of seeing them though.

Early yesterday as I made my way along Rotunda Drive in Dearborn I came into stalled cars. As I was at the start of a long, leftward curve I could see the reason: about six cars in front of me a line of geese were crossing the road. Maybe they were trying to figure out why the chicken did it. Any way you slice it, they were as bad as Detroiters crossing the street. My street! Not yours! They even stared at drivers as Detroiters would: yeah, I'm crossing? What'cha gonna do?

You gonna wait. But that don't mean you gotta like it.

And so it begins

You know the Terminator scenario, right? It's where the robots and all the machinery of technology become sentient, self aware, and try to destroy mankind? Well, I think it's actually started, and it's begun with the traffic lights.

Three times this week I've been driving when I've noticed a light in the distance turn red. Each time I figured I was far enough away that all I had to do was take my foot off the gas and slow down, not enough to stop but to let me make the light without stopping. I expected the light to turn green before I arrived at it, when I could accelerate and move on.

Yet every time I would reach a point where I had to begin lightly applying the brake, as I was coming too close to the signal.

The light would stay red. Pretty soon I would be pressing down a little harder on the brake pedal.

I would begin decelerating more rapidly. The upcoming signal would stay red. It would stay red until exactly the moment when I would come to a full stop right at the signal. And exactly at full stop, the traffic light would turn green.

I'm telling you, the traffic signals have become sentient. And they're toying with us.