Idiot lights

All cars have warning lights, which come on on your dashboard when the vehicle wants you to fear something's dramatically and horribly wrong, causing you to rush to a mechanic who is all to happy to take piles of your cash simply to turn the light off. They were once called idiot lights, but I suppose the PC culture has caught up even to that and has given them a more kind, humane name.

Whatever. I ignore the pesky things. I have yet to have a car which hasn't had the check engine light on the whole time I've driven it. So long as it starts and gets me where I'm going, it's not important. My engine will tell me when something's truly wrong. Like it won't start, for example.

My seat belt light stays on. I don't know why, because I always have my seat belt properly across my lap and shoulder. Yes, I really do. So I pay no heed to that.

The ABS light has been on on my van for, I don't know, months now. But the old Chevy Venture stops readily and easily, so I don't care. There's a door ajar light always glowing at me. But again, the doors are secure, so so what?

I did have a scare yesterday though, when a light I never noticed caught my attention. For whatever reason, I hadn't seen it before: a bright orange light which highlighted the capital letter D. I admit, I panicked. What in the world could that one mean?

It means you're in drive, you maroon, my mind quickly told me.

Yeah, idiot lights. Sometimes they do let you know who the idiot is.