Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

Clean Slate

Bush's Drug Store was pretty much right across the street from the house me Pops grew up in at 1104 Putnam in Detroit. The Cosgriff family frequented it for their medicines and whatever other sundries the store might have offered.

One day when in his teens me Pops and a friend were drifting around the old neighborhood, killing time on a winter afternoon. As the pair neared the store his buddy said to Dad, "Bet you can't hit Bush's sign with a snowball." Above the doorway, adorned with the Coca-Cola moniker, was sign which said 'Bush's Drugs', a typical way of advertising in the day. Actually, until yet I suppose.

"Sure I can," a supremely confident Teenage Pops replied. He scooped up a handful of snow, packed it tightly, and let it fly, striking the sign dead center.

It shattered into dozens of pieces. Pops assumed the sign was metal or wood, but it was slate. On that cold day, a well pitched snowball was bound to do irreparable harm.

'This is going to take weeks for me to pay for,' Teenage Pops thought woefully. But right was right, and the Cosgriffs and Mr. Bush were friends as well as patrons and druggists, so Dad went in to confess what he had done.

"I threw a snowball at your Coke sign and it shattered, Mr. Bush," he explained when the pharmacist came from a back room.

Mr. Bush offered a wry smile. "Well, young man, you picked a good day. They're coming out tomorrow with a new sign to replace it. Clean up the debris and we'll be fine."

The fog lifted, the angels sang, and Teenage Pops' Shop salary wouldn't be dunned. Life was good.


Wednesday, August 21, 2024

The Paranoia Grows

I think advertising exists solely to develop paranoia in the body politic. It does this by causing worry over our actual, physical bodies.

Deodorant has been a medicine cabinet staple for as long as I can remember. I get that: certain odors are unpleasant for everyone. I brush my teeth twice daily and even use a mouthwash which 'kills germs missed by brushing alone AND strengthens enamel' (two jobs in one? Who can resist?). I use foot powder. Give me my regular old Old Spice, something I've emphasized to an admittedly bizarre extreme in these very environs, and I'm fine. 

At least, I thought I was fine. Now there are, all over the place, ads for whole body deodorants. Do I really need that? Is the odor from back of my knees annoying folks? I'm sure that's not an issue. I have many more, and much more effective, ways of being a pest. 

Well, I know what they're talking about, and all I can say is, I'm clean. When I'm not clean I get clean. The advertising oligarchs aren't going to make me any more paranoid. I assure you, I've quite cornered that market all on my own. The paranoids have been after me for ages.

Monday, March 9, 2020

Taking a dare

I'm not always sure what to think about advertising or promotions. They can be timid and they can be strong. Often I'm not sure exactly what they are, or are supposed to mean.

I used to buy a beer at the duty free store when coming home from Canada which enticed its patrons on the cigar band that it was 'remarkably drinkable'. I don't know about you, but I simply cannot imagine why anyone would believe that was a good advertising slogan. Imagine a buddy taking a sip and then remarking, "I say old boy, have you tried this? It is remarkably drinkable." Um, okay.

Today I'm having a spot of tea which commanded that I *dare* to drink it. What, is the next step a double dog dare? Or might we skip the protocols and jump right to the triple dog dare? It isn't like we're sticking our tongue on a cold flagpole.

I'm drinking the tea anyways. I never back down from a dare.

Sunday, November 3, 2019

A variation on an old Marx Brothers routine

I wasn't really sure what to title this post. Free Ice? didn't seem right. The thousand percent profit margin is a bit wordy. What I chose is a bit too cryptic. Oh well.

The things you see on the road. A party store I drove past in a small town the other day had a sign out front advertising its current sales. That's common enough. Some of the prices in fact looked pretty good. But perhaps the best sale on display was: 0 lb. ice for $1. For a buck you could get no ice.

Yes, I know that's not what it meant. I'm sure that the number 1 which was surely in front of the 0 had fallen off. But that's simply not funny, is it? And obvious, rational explanations make Jack a dull boy. Further, they avoid the next natural question.

Could you afford to actually get ice?