World Changing

I was in Walmart yesterday, buying a pair of shoes if you must know, when after satisfying that need I wandered around the store a bit just to see what might catch my eye. Yes, I'm becoming a shopper. I'll stop. Don't want you lose my man card.

While checking out coffee I went on to look at tea. As I held a box of English Breakfast tea in my hands (which I like; I could be slowly losing my Irish card too) I saw a cup of tea displayed on the wrapper. Under the cup were the words 'Serving suggestion'.

Well, this changes everything. I can't tell you how many times in my life I was standing in the kitchen with a tea bag in hand and a whistling kettle on the stove, frantically thinking, "How can I make this work?" All I want is a cup of tea. But if I pour the hot water over the bag it will create a mess on the floor. If I hold the bag in my hand and add water I'll scald myself badly. What can I do?

I can put it all in a porcelain cup! I bet even a ceramic mug would do. No more burned hands for this old boy, I tell you what.

Seriously, though: does Twinings Tea actually believe that a picture of hot tea in a cup enhances the chance of a sale? Have people really been thinking, That's it! I can make my tea in a cup. Now I'll buy more.

Somebody isn't getting their money's worth out of their promotional budget if you ask me.

Tea treason

I have developed a taste for the style of hot beverage known as English breakfast tea. It began in 2018 when I was fighting a cold while working a trade show in Indianapolis. The Keurig in my room had two pods of regular coffee, one of decaf (not sure anybody's drank that yet) and one of the tea. It tasted so good and seemed to help settle my cold so well that I trundled downstairs and bought several more pods from the hotel commissary. The tea honestly raised my spirits and made me feel physically better.

English breakfast tea is dark and coffee like in appearance. Taken without milk or sugar it actually rivals coffee in flavor. It also has more caffeine that coffee (most teas do as I understand, so why are we always told to watch our coffee but never our tea intake?). What's not to like?

Still, I feel, I dunno, like it's un-American to drink a tea so English. Do I have to turn in my patriot card?

Taking a dare

I'm not always sure what to think about advertising or promotions. They can be timid and they can be strong. Often I'm not sure exactly what they are, or are supposed to mean.

I used to buy a beer at the duty free store when coming home from Canada which enticed its patrons on the cigar band that it was 'remarkably drinkable'. I don't know about you, but I simply cannot imagine why anyone would believe that was a good advertising slogan. Imagine a buddy taking a sip and then remarking, "I say old boy, have you tried this? It is remarkably drinkable." Um, okay.

Today I'm having a spot of tea which commanded that I *dare* to drink it. What, is the next step a double dog dare? Or might we skip the protocols and jump right to the triple dog dare? It isn't like we're sticking our tongue on a cold flagpole.

I'm drinking the tea anyways. I never back down from a dare.