Used machine aggravation

I sell new machines. I also sell used ones, when I have them. And for the record, I don't even mind a bit of negotiation. But, customers, when you want to make counteroffers, you gotta be in the same ballpark as me.

I just had a guy offer me $500 for a used snake where my asking price is $800. Really, dude? I've never seen you before and you expect I might consider giving you almost 40% off? Get outta here.

A second guy told me he'd give me $600. Cash money, he proudly emphasized.

Sorry. No 25% discounts either.

Perhaps the most insulting counteroffer came several years ago when a fella offered me $175 on a used unit where I was asking $600. That's just an insult. I turned it down of course. "I come back in a week, it's still here, I give you $175," he states. States, mind you, not re-offers.

I was smiling broadly when he returned and demanded the machine. "I sold it," I explained simply.

"For how much?" he demanded indignantly.

"Six hundred bucks," I replied, just a little too smugly I'll admit. But I know what my stuff's worth. The serious buyers do too.