It's Not a Miracle

Some people expect miracles. Now, I believe in miracles. Fervently, in fact. There is no doubt in my mind that I have had miracles happen for me and for others. But I make no claim that those miracles are or were in any way, shape, or form brought on by me. Indeed, I am quite certain that I had absolutely nothing to do with them. Still, there are folks who apparently expect the miraculous from me.

A plumber brought his drain cleaning machine into my shop at the beginning of the week. It didn't run. I explained that I couldn't look at it immediately as I was too busy. "Could I get it by Friday?" he begged. I said I'd see what I could do.

Thursday arrives, and I set his machine up on my work bench to look it over. The clutch would not turn; on that particular unit, you ought to be able to spin the clutch by hand with ease even when connected to the motor. That not happening, I removed the clutch, which spun freely in my hands. So I tried turning the armature of the motor where it stuck out to engage the clutch. It was so solidly tight that it wouldn't move. As with the clutch on a normal machine, you ought to be able to turn the armature by hand on that style of electric motor.

This all meant that I needed to look inside the motor. I removed the back plate: it was immediately obvious that the unit had been in standing water for quite some time. There was all sorts of greenish corrosion on the copper windings, and the water had caused the armature to weld itself to those windings. The man had no option but to replace the machine.

So I call him. "What's the good news for me, Cosgriff?"

"They ain't none, sorry. You have to replace the machine. You didn't tell me it had been underwater; it would have saved us both some trouble."

"No, no, no, it wasn't the water long, Cosgriff," he insisted. "Remember all that flooding a few months ago? It was only under water for a couple of days. I got it out real quick." Somehow, in this case anyways, I don't believe that the phrases 'couple of days' and 'real quick' quite gel. But he continued, "So it wasn't the water. And I cleaned all the slime. They was a whole lotta sludge come out of it too."

"Friend," I responded, my free hand, the one not holding my cell phone, rubbing the temple on one side of my head, "What caused the slime and sludge? This thing was obviously in the water a long time."

"So all I can do is replace it, huh?"

"Yes. That is all you can do." Because, I wanted to add but did not, I'm no miracle worker. I surely would not be working on drains snakes if I were.