Conditions for Marriage

The following is a joke. It is only a joke. Please put your sectional, religious, and political preferences aside and take it that way, a bit of humor which has become part of family lore.

On the surface, you wouldn't think me Mom and me Pops could make a marriage work. Dad was a Catholic, a northerner, and a Democrat. Mom was Southern, Baptist, and from one of the few Republican enclaves in 1940s Dixie. Yet they were happily married for 56 years and had seven wonderful children. Particularly the second.

As me Pops himself told the story, when he proposed Mom (obviously) said yes, but with three conditions. "I will raise my children Catholic. I will even raise them Yankees. But I will not raise them Democrats," she told him.

Well, two out of three ain't bad, Pops must've figured, because he accepted her terms. And things worked out. Pops even became a Republican. 

Put up yer Duke's

I can be difficult to please. If when curling I need a draw through a port to grab a piece of the button, nothing less will do. But I can also be easy to please. In fact, I can be flat out childlike at times with how easily something pleases me.

At the local supermarket, University Foods here in Detroit, I stumbled across Duke's Mayonnaise. Folks in Michigan likely don't know about it, but it's a sandwich staple in North Carolina, where me Mom is from and I have a ton of extended family.

I couldn't buy it quick enough. I couldn't get home quick enough to make a ham and cheese sandwich with it. It was so good that I'm almost certainly going back to University tomorrow to buy another. Or, perhaps, two, if the best buy date is far enough into the future.

I haven't had Duke's in 35 years. Maybe it's nothing but sentiment talking, but it's really good. All that would make it better would be liver mush and Cheerwine (the best cherry pop I know and another North Carolina special). Liver Mush on white bread with Duke's mayo might be the best sandwich ever.

So I can be easily pleased. As such, finding Duke's out of the blue and right around the corner sure made my day.

A Matter of Trust

The things you think when you're awake far too early in the morning...

Ice-T came up in a commercial for Car Shield, an extended warranty car insurance provider. After going through the motions of explaining why the company's insurance plans were so good, he ended the ad with, "I trust Car Shield with my car. You should too."

Okay, if it actually helps, I trust Car Shield with your car too, Ice-T.

Favorite Sons

Yesterday was a good day. I managed to find what I was looking for at Meijer, namely Old Spice deodorant. Regular old Old Spice, not all the hipster variations which seem to dominate the brand lately. What in the name of all that is good and holy is wolfbane anyway? 

With such a difficult time finding it, having actually found what I wanted I bought four. That should hold me for a minute. Quiet Ron.

Being Sunday of course me Mom was with me. As we rode along she remarked, "I am enjoying this! I like the ride and the company!" Then turning towards me she asked, jokingly, "Who are you?"

"I'm your favorite son," I answered. It's become a running joke between us really.

But she got me pretty good yesterday. "Well, if that's what it takes to get you through the day we'll say it."

Give her a rim shot. She earned it.

Not just for winter anymore

There was once this good ol' boy, I'll call him Cloyce just to give him a name, who considered himself the neighborhood innovator. Some of his ideas, to be fair, were kind of clever. But most of the time all he did was jury rig. That's okay too so far as I'm concerned, if it's a decent enough adaptation.

Cloyce had an old Chevy Bel Air, I believe it was a '65, and what it needed was a wheel alignment. It drifted sharply to the left (this is not leading to a political joke I assure you) and really needed front end work. But ol' Cloyce didn't want to put that kind of money into the car. So he looked around in his garage for what was handy and found an old snow tire for the Chevy. He put it on the car on the left front.

That stopped the drift. His theory was that the snow tire, having deeper tread, made up for the amount of space which had been created by vehicular wear which led to the drift. Based on the results, I'm inclined to say he was right, as he drove with that winter tire for about six months before he got rid of the car.

It was a jury rig. But hey, it worked for him, and considering the types of cars I drive, who am I to argue?

Stating the obvious

A customer picked up his brand new Electric Eel Model C yesterday. As he looked it over like a kid with a new toy he said, "Man, that's one bad mother..."

We both then exclaimed at the same time, "Shut your mouth!" and laughed uproariously.

Yeah, it was kinda obvious. He was clearly going for the joke, and it was pretty easy to anticipate. Still, it was a fun few seconds. I like moments like that.

Dropping In

A family member dropped in out of the blue yesterday, and it made my day.  I'm rather tickled that he felt comfortable enough to do it.

It seems to me, and perhaps I'm remembering poorly but I think it's true, that at one point people were okay simply dropping by. Oh, I don't doubt that many folks still are, but it feels to me as though it's a practice not so prevalent as it once was.

I know me Grandpa Joe was good for that. If he wanted to see someone he went and saw them, to the point of stopping by when in North Carolina to visit me Grandpaw Hutchins just to do it. Just because it was a good thing to do. Now our lives have become so scheduled that perhaps too many of us don't feel right simply stopping by to see friends and family.

That's too bad. We miss deeper friendships when we don't feel free to drop in.

But maybe I'm just becoming that old man who thinks things aren't as good as they used to be. Still, I wonder.