Silent Sitting

Me Grandmaw Hutchins, we lost her in 1979. I believe it was June 18. It was something like that anyways.

I took the call from me Pops. He and Mom happened to be in North Carolina when it happened. For what it's worth, I'm happy for Mom that she at least had a few more days with her mother at the end rather than being 700 miles away and getting a call herself.

Dad told me Grandmaw had passed away suddenly. I remember the days right after that were profoundly different. I remember feeling weird, lost, after that call. At the risk of hyperbole, even the sunshine felt dimmer though it was a clear summer day. It was a bit after noon, as I was getting lunch.

Apparently he had called his folks, me Grandpa Joe and me Grandma Cosgriff, either right afore or after he had called home, where I and me older brother and just younger sister stayed while everyone else had went down south that year. It still seems surreal.

I had little initial reaction: I believe I was simply shocked. Her passing was genuinely out of the blue: she turned to say something to my mother and her head just hit her chest. The doctor said she was gone before her head hit, it was that quick and severe of a stroke.

I told me sibs. Then, not knowing what else to do, I just went back to work at the Shop, dazed though I was.

When I got there me Grandpa Joe waited, alone for whatever reason, pulling on a cigarette, a Carlton, as he sat by the coffee table. I went back to work, just like that, like normal.

A moment later, seeing as Joe had a coffee, I made me one, I dunno, just because. And we sat.

Joe pulled again on the cigarette. "I'm sorry about your grandmother," he said, unusually quietly, after a minute.

"Thanks," I said. I sipped at my coffee.

After a bit I said, "Well, not many kids get to have four grandparents until they're 19. I guess I'm lucky."

"Yeah," Joe said. He pulled again at his Carlton.

And we sat there. We just sat.

Memories. I actually cherish this one, not of course because of me Grandmaw's death. Heavens no. But that silent sitting with Joe just seemed to fit the bill right then.