Make 'em laugh

What weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane? A gallon of water, because butane is lighter fluid.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus today. I mean, it's awful. Awful.

After I was shopping yesterday the cashier couldn't scan one of my items. "That must be free," I told her.

Did I ever tell you about when I was fired unjustly from my job at a calendar factory? All because I took a couple days off.

My son complained during the winter that the house was too cold. I told him go stand in the corner. He demanded why. I said the corner is 90 degrees.

There: dad jokes. I get to tell them today and you have to laugh at them. Happy Fathers Day.

You're welcome.