Marty's being an Infant

As if I don't waste enough of my life on nonsense, let me share with you the nonsense I've wasted time on in the last day.

You know how people frequently use the word 'baby' as a term of endearment? Your wife or husband or long lost lover is your baby, right? Well, isn't that kind of demeaning when you think about it?

I was listening to Linda Ronstadt cooing her old song Oooh, Baby, Baby and I thought, how would that sound if we replaced baby with another term for a tiny human child? What if we substituted infant for it?

Oooo, oo, ohh, Infant, Infant. Oooo, ooo, ooh, Infant, Infant. Funny, eh? How about this: Oh where oh where can my infant be? You know, from Pearl Jam's Last Kiss. And you can do it with almost any song which employs baby as a familiar. Carl Perkins' rockabilly standard Everybody's Tryin' to be My Baby becomes Everybody's Tryin' to be my Infant. Peter Frampton's famous hit is now Infant I Love Your Way. The Beach Boys are singing Don't Worry Infant. And have you heard the Beatles sing Infant You're a Rich Man? For you suburban rapper wannbees we have Vanilla Ice performing Ice Ice Infant.

I could go on. But I so hope I've given you the ear worm now. So tell me what you come up with.