The Voices in my Phone

"You have one unheard message."

I want to reach into my cell and smack the voice which says that every time it says that. I know I have one unheard message, or perhaps two. That's why I'm calling my voicemail.

You're wasting my time to tell me what I already know quite well. It's all the worse when the voices tell me I have more than one message: "First unheard message..." Fine. Yes. Thank you. I have messages. Multiple messages. Messages which I am certain, maybe in my own arrogance, greatly desire my particular attention. I'm trying to get to them, if only you'd just shut up and give them to me.

I surely am making too much of this, but it is rather condescending for a mechanical voice to tell me what is obvious beyond any doubt. Perhaps it's merely a reflection of my own impatience, impatience I find growing as I get older. I simply want to get to the point. In the case of checking my voicemail, it's to get my doggone messages. Just give them to me, will ya, Siri or Alexa or whoever you are, disembodied voice. That's all I want.

Sheesh.