Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Beefy's Thanksgiving

I believe I've established that my old buddy Beefy liked to take a pull or two at the bottle of the demon rum. Now we all know what that can do a man's thinking. Here's what it did to him one fine day.

Beef was still living at home with mom and dad when in his early 20s. Yet he wasn't like so many youngsters that he mooched off his folks. He contributed to the household, helping with the bills up to and including food for the holidays. Yeah, by his own admittance he drank too much in them days. But he did his part just the same.

He was sitting at a bar one night a day or two before Thanksgiving while a friend of his expounded on the value of fresh turkey. You buy it live, then dress and cook it yourself. It was much better than the frozen birds from your local market. The bar friend even told Beefy where he could buy live turkeys, even at that late date and that close to the holiday.

Sliding off his stool the next minute, Beefy resolved, even in his altered state, to treat his family to a fresh turkey dinner that very Thanksgiving. He went out and bought a fresh, and remember live, bird.

Now on his way home it occurred to Beef that if one fresh turkey was good, two oughta be a whole lot better. They really should. So when he arrived at home he took the one he had, opened the back door by the kitchen, and tossed a rather upset wild fowl inside, yelling, "Get that one ready Ma, I'm gonna get another!" 

I can't imagine what it was like chasing a live turkey all over a house. But I'm sure Beefy's mother described it to him adequately.





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